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| | Ok, so here's the problem...the answer may seem obvious but it's bugging me... My mother in law called yesterday and chewed me out because I didn't assume that my sister in law (a 15 year old in our youth group) needed a ride to an event, and I didn't have room because others had contacted me first. She said that I should treat her with special consideration because she is my sister in law. I told her that yes she is my sister in law, and I love her, but she is also a member in our youth group, and is capable of letting me know if she needs a ride. The youth who are riding with us to the event told me more than a week a head of time, they took the responsibility, and she is fully capable of doing the same thing. Was I wrong? Should I show favoritism to my sister in law just because we are related? Should I expect less of her when it comes to the standards I hold all of my youth too? Help. I need some encouragement. In Christ, Hannah
Love in Christ,
Hannah Rae |
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| Yer doin good. Can't please everybody all of the time they say. Of course I'm a guy and we always say stuff like "Walk it off", and "I'm good." I do know that apologies are easy to give (even if you're not wrong). Doesn't mean you have to change anything. Thanks for bringing those kids to the event. That's a good thing.
 http://sundayschoollessonconnection.com/ Help and encouragement for Christian Youth Leaders plus free lesson plans to download. |
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| | I think you did the right thing. Maybe next time you could ask your sister-in-law if she needed a ride in advance but I wouldn't just drop everything for your sister-in-law because she didn't have a ride when she was supposed to. God Bless, Josh T. in Ohio
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| I strongly believe you did the right thing. Maybe now you can approach your sister-in-law and explain to her that you're happy to give her a ride but that unless she tells you ahead of time, you will assume that she doesn't need to be picked up (she's 15 right? Old enough to understand the concept...)
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| | Unless you had promised that you would always give her a ride, she shouldn't be given preferential treatment just because she is family. It's a difficult spot to be in, but you should make it clear to your young sister-in-law that she needs to let you know ahead of time if she wants to ride with you to youth activities. |
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| | Thanks for all the encouragement . See, the problem is really not with my sister-in-law, but with my mother-in-law. My SIL knows very well that she is always welcome to ask for a ride, and that I don't assume anything. It's a difficult balance b/w youth leader and big SIL, but we are trying to get it right. Love in Christ, Hannah Rae
Love in Christ,
Hannah Rae |
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| I believe you did the right thing as well.
A 15 year old is hardly a child any longer and you are not a mind reader. There is no reasonable consideration that your sister in law could not have picked up a phone in advance.
God Bless,
Christopher Fishell
Xtreme Youth Resources International
God Bless,
Christopher Fishell
Executive Director
Xtreme Youth Resources International |
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| | You did the right thing. I had married the Pastors son and with this, there is alot of responsibility. I also work in the office as an administrator. During my interview everyone agreed, including me, that I am an employee not family when I am at work. This means I am treated the same as everyone else. Pastor is Pastor Sunday - Thursday and any church function; He is Dad when we are at home or not on work hours. When I talk to others in the church he is always Pastor. If I had come across the situation you did I would have done the same thing. You are a Youth leader on youth nights not a sister-in-law. We all have to make these boundaries so others can see you don't favor her over them and that she has respect for your position as a youth leader. This also will develop her into a leader by taking responsiblity for her own actions. Your mother-in-law should understand. I know sometimes making boundaries can be hard but must be done.
Tim & Amanda
CoreTruth Youthleaders |
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