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| | I seriously do not know what else to do. My daughter is 10 and has always had a bit of an anger issue. She has even been put on meds to stabalize it, but our judgement took her off them. She has been to anger management counseling. And yet she still has issues. I have to walk on eggshells around her it seems. Lately it has gotten worse to the point that she is screaming things like "I hate you" and "I wish you would leave" or "I wish you would die because I don't want you as a mom". It has taken an emotional toll on me and my house. I don't know what to do. I have prayed until I was blue in the face and yet nothing changes. It is effecting me, my son, my husband, the whole house and our relationship among us. It seems my daughter and I do nothing but bicker and argue and I feel like there is no bond any longer. So, I come to you to remember us in your prayers bc it is at an impass with no turn around. I dunno what else to do. Thanks
 ~Misty from Indiana
Non-conformist!! Romans 12:2  Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth!
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| Misty, you've come to the right place. We are here to lift you up in prayer and interceded on behalf of your whole family, especially your daughter. God is able to heal and restore, but remember he sometimes uses medicine to do this. I am a witness to divine healing, but that did not stop us from accepting my wives diagnosis and going on meds. I have seen God work wonders in her life and yes, I will say "Thank God for her medicine". I am praying that God will give you strength, peace and the assurance that He is able to do exceedingly beyond that which we can imagine. I trust he will do a work in your daughter's life and will grant you the peace in deciding what is best for her.
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| | I am not against medicine. However, they have used her as a guinea pig and don't know what meds to put her on. Everything they have tried as either made her lose her mind or made her a zombie. She is mostly a good kid but every other month or so we go through this...this one has just taken a harder toll than normal on me. I thank you for your prayers. They are MUCH appreciated.
~Misty from Indiana Non-conformist!! Romans 12:2 Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth! |
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| | Misty, I will add you to my prayers. I don't know if this would help or not; My son (11 yrs) also has a bit of an anger management problem along with anxiety. I noticed that evenings are the worse time in our house - he stops listening and then my anger pops up. After a few ugly nights, I decided to try something new. I came out and told him that I noticed that if he is not getting ready for bed by 7:30/8:00 pm that our house just gets angry at each other and I wanted to try something. I took some small poster boards and made three lists: Ways to Earn Points, Ways to Loose Points, and Point value per chip color and what can be earned at each level. He gets 25 points for not loosing points up to 3:00. 10 points for not loosing points 3:00 - 5:00, 10 points 5:00 - 7:00, 5 points 7:00 - 7:30, 5 points 7:30 to 8:00 and 5 points if asleep by 9:00. He also earns points for brushing teeth and bathing/showering and helping with chores (we have a list of which chores and how many points for each - it is his choice to do them or not) He looses points for bugging his sister, unbuckling or touching car door before vehicle is stopped (because that was an issue), annoying students, not obeying, etc. My intentions was to hand him his earned points as he earned them but at 7:00/7:30 he enjoys taking the list and calculating what he has earned so far. He also decides if he wants more points which chore(s) he can do at that time. Evenings have become so much nicer with us focusing on positive behaviors and he even cleans the bathroom and his room most nights for added points. When my daughter was about 10 yrs old, we started having problems in the mornings. So, I sat down with her and helped her make her own morning chart routine. She decided how much time for what (shower, brushing teeth, eating, free time, dressing, ect.) she needed. We used her times to figure out what time she needed to get up in the morning. If she got up later, she needed to cut down on the time for something. She got her own alarm clock radio to set. She also hates me to no end - I am the source of all things bad in her life so she thinks. Our bond has been broken also. It helps when people tell me how great she is - just wished she would show that maturity to me (she is 17 yrs old). I know how frustrated you can get. I feel she has taken everything we have given to her and rejected it as not good enough. It has been a struggle keeping her on a good track (though not the best track she will be o.k. - she really is a great kid outside the house). I think it is o.k. for you to say to your daughter, "I hate how I feel when we fight. I want to try to figure out how to make our home time easier on all of us. I notice that we have a difficult time with this certain time of day or this certain item, let's try to find a way to make it more positive." She may be relieved that you are acknowledging her struggles and vocalizing that you want to help. God bless you and your family,
- Adrianne
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| | Thank you Adrianne. We, too, have tried the reward chart system and it worked for awhile. Then they lost all interest in it. It's hard when I know she can be such a sweet and caring person. She has such a big heart. And yet she has this anger/anxiety issue that clouds everything. I will take what you said to heart and I appreciate your prayers.
~Misty from Indiana Non-conformist!! Romans 12:2 Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth! |
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| | Could the recent escelation also be hormonal? I was 10 1/2 when I started my cycle, and I wonder if she is headed towards that right now as well. Either way...I'm sorry for this heartache you are dealing with and will certainly remember you and your family in prayer!
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| | I am sure it has something to do with it, but she has been this way since birth, it seems...lol Really, I appreciate the prayers and am hanging on that it will pass and things get back to some form of normalicy.
~Misty from Indiana Non-conformist!! Romans 12:2 Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth! |
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| | I will keep you both in my prayers. I have an anger problem myself due to years of abuse and being left in charge of all of my younger sibblings.. There is a book.. it is called " The Anger Work Out book" This book saved my family life.. has saved my marrage and prob saved my kids from being abused by me as well.. I have alot of trouble with bottling things up till they explode all over everyone.. and this book was sent to me by God.. I honestly believe that.. It helped my mom and later my hubby to read it as well so that they understoon what I ment when I said things like.. " I am angry and want to take a time out" not need to.. not have to.. want to.. anger can be a decision.. you just have to turn it into one. They usually carry this book in the larger book stores.. and they can order it if they dont have it in stock.. but this book.. I have gotten it several times.. several editions... and love it more each time I open it.. it has truly been a blessing over the years. Best of luck and prayers being said.. Hugs Katie
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