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Posted 3/11/2008 8:49:53 AM


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Group Magazine, March-April issue, did not shy away from a tough subject, that of youth pastors getting romantically involved with teenagers.  They listed "Bullet Points to Bulletproof yourself".  There were five suggestions like, "Always have a second leader with you when giving kids rides home."

Do you guys have any other good suggestions that you practice to bulletproof yourself? Are there any written guidelines you go by?

I'd like to post the list on my website for other youth leaders.

Kevin

Coconut Mountain Communications

kevinophoff@coconutmtn.com

Post #30705
Posted 3/11/2008 11:35:43 AM
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I always have a second person in the car if I am driving with a girl. I always have my office door open when I'm counseling or talking with anyone. I try not to focus on certain girls, for whatever reason, in youth group any more than any other. Teens pick up on your "favorites"and the last thing you want is teens or adults thinking you "favor" a certain girl or girls.
Post #30722
Posted 3/21/2008 6:26:48 AM
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I agree with what's been said so far.

I would add that my training is to be careful about appearances (driving kids home, playing favorites, etc.) with both girls and boys, no matter your own gender. I was taught that faulty accusations and misinterpretations of your words and actions can come from both boys and girls, even though accusations most often come from girls to male ministers.

Also, we never take an overnight trip without at least one adult of each gender if there's at least one boy and one girl attending.

That's all I have to add for now. Hope that helps!
Post #31313
Posted 4/6/2008 4:39:46 PM


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Ok.  Thanks for your replies.  Here's what I have so far:

1. Do not be alone with a student unless you are in full view or within hearing of others.

As much as possible there should be three people present for any interaction.

No counseling alone with a person of the opposite sex.

Paid church staff may infrequently conduct a counseling session with a person of

the opposite sex in the office with a secretary present in the next room and with

either a window into the counseling room or door partially open at all times

No working alone on projects or music with a person of the opposite sex.

2. Be careful about riding alone in a car with any student, especially one of the opposite sex.

If dropping kids off it’s a good idea if you have one of your own kids still in the car if possible.

Student activities should end no later than 10:00 PM unless parents have been notified otherwise.

Drivers for student events and trips must be over 21, licensed, and their vehicle insured for

100,00/300,000/50,000. A signed insurance statement to that effect should be on file in the

church office Qualified van drivers should also have a copy of their drivers license in the

office. Avoid borrowing vehicles for trips if possible.

3. A signed parental permission form/medical release must be on file before a student can go on any extracurricular activity. Copies of the form should be carried by the leader for emergency use.

See the sample form on the website for particulars.

At least one adult of each gender must accompany an overnight trip when both boys and girls are present.

4. Try not to focus on certain kids, for whatever reason, in youth group any more than any other. Teens pick up on your "favorites"and the last thing you want is teens or adults thinking you "favor" a certain girl, girls, or boy.

5. When sending cards or letters to individual students it’s best to leave the envelope open, then put it in another envelope addressed to the parent so the parent can read and approve the communication.

6. Avoid personal e-mails with students. If one is received we suggest sending a blind-copy of your reply to an accountability partner. Both of you should make a copy of the e-mail and keep it on file.

7. Your behavior with anyone of the opposite sex at church functions or in private should be above

reproach: Avoid kissing on the lips or full body hugs. Do not talk with a person of the opposite sex about marital problems. If your spouse is uncomfortable with anything you are doing -stop immediately.

Although cultural lines have been blurred between marriage and cohabitation, the Bible’s lines are

clear (1 Timothy 3:1-13; James 3:1) A person in leadership or teaching in the church should not be

in a living situation with someone of the opposite sex unless they are married.

Let me know if there's anything I need to add or anything you object to,  before I post it on the website.



Coconut Mountain Communications

kevinophoff@coconutmtn.com

Post #32310
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