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| On Monday, the day after Easter, my fiance/co-youth minister and I will take our kids on their annual SOFA (Spiritual Odyssey For Adolescents) trip. We live in suburban Honolulu, and will travel all the way to Portland, Oregon.
We have kids with some really tough home lives coming along for the trip, which combines mission/service, spiritual development, and a ski day. (Two have been living in moderately abusive homes; one youth's family is in financial crisis; two girls--sisters--lost their dad a year and a half ago; and one has struggled with serious depression and has had a lot of tension in her home.) We didn't seek out kids from tough backgrounds, but God sent them to us--and it continues to be our solemn prayer that our youth program might be some of what these kids need in their lives. As I'm sure most youth ministers would attest, working with these kids is a great privilege, a great responsibility, and, at times, a great challenge.
All of this is to say that my fiance developed a mini-retreat for all those attending the SOFA trip last Sunday afternoon. He spent many summers as a camp counselor, and developed a low ropes course and team-building activities, to get our group to start to function as a unit. We were outside on the playground of the school where our church meets, and I was extremely impressed with how well the kids were working together. Suddenly, I heard skateboards rolling up on the premisis, and before I knew it, we were literally surrounded by about 25 teenage boys on skateboards, circling around us.
Several of them came up to one of our kids (I'll call him "Kevin") and said something to him, audible to neither my fiance nor me. It was obvious they knew Kevin, and I heard them whispering his name as they skated by. One of the skating boys began videotaping our bunch, and they all stopped and took a seat to watch, as if we were animals in the zoo. I knew Kevin was was a skateboarder, and my guess was that they were friends of his who were making fun Kevin for doing something so "uncool." Great friends, right?
My fiance told our kids to calmly stop what they were doing and go inside, and they did. I was especially impressed by how well Kevin handled the whole situation. He remained calm about his friends mocking him. We continued the mini-retreat inside, but it was obvious that all of us--including me and my fiance--were shaken by the whole experience. My fiance gave the kids a great talk about how there will be a lot of distractions on the trip and how there will always be people trying to pull you away from God and God's work. (I swear sometimes he knows exactly what to say when I haven't a clue.)
When I debriefed our pastor regarding the mini-retreat, she mentioned that our worship leader had seen Kevin running with that same crowd on several occasions, and had once pulled him aside after church and told Kevin he loved him like a brother in Christ, and told him he was worried about the crowd with which he was running.
Kevin is a kid with a father who has never been around and a mother in and our of jail. He is being raised by his great-grandmother, a member of our church, and grandfather, who doesn't attend church. Our senior pastor has heard the grandfather call Kevin an "f!@ing piece of !@#$." We've got our hands full, and I'm pretty sure we need an army of people to pray.
Thanks for reading the vent! Advice and/or prayers of support would be greatly appreciated.
God's love,
Erin |
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| | Erin, I don't pretend to know how to deal with this situation and thank God that He was with you and your group that day, but the only advice I can give is love him. Only the love of God will win him over. He has to see something in you and your husband that keeps him coming back. Just continue to love him where he is and let God do the rest. God bless you for the work you are doing with these kids!!
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| This is not my situation, so i don't know the details or what kind of threat these kids pose, but i would almost recommend that instead of seeing these kids as a threat that you lived through, see them as an opportunity.
It sounds an awful lot like your finance is handy building things. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to setup a small skate park. Have Kevin help you figure out what it could include, even if it only has a grind rail and that's it. Post some rules like: Skate at your own risk; No Alcohol; No Drugs; Please be courteous of other skaters; etc. Give them some limits.
The church goes from the enemy that is taking their "brother" away to becoming a safe place for them to go and hang out. And, heavens knows they probably need a safe place if their families are like those of some of the others of your youth.
If one of the members of your congregation is a local police officer, ask him to stop by when doing his rounds to make sure nothing shady is going on. Not to kick the kids out, but just to make sure that it's a safe place for them. If your friend the cop is a friendly person, all the better. Someone that the kids know that they can rely on to keep order, and who is not an enemy.
You are in a great position. The kids are coming to you! If you can, get Kevin on board (which i'm guessing will not be hard at all). Help him to see the vision to reach out to his friends and provide them with a safe place. You're likely see your youth group really grow. Then, well... then who knows where you could take it.
Overall, if nothing else, don't see these kids as being a threat. They will pick up on that and will use that. Reach out to them. They need love and they need Christ maybe even more than you know.
Masterpiece in Progress - Building masterpieces one person at a time. |
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| | What a story! Nothing like a real life application lesson and awesome example of using those "teaching moments"! Can you share where your co-leader got the directions for the LOW ROPES course set up? I've been thinking of doing that as a team building exercise with my preteen group before taking them on their first outing together. Would love to know how you set that up!
Lisa B from NC |
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| | I'll be praying for you, your fiance, and your group of kids. God Bless, Josh T. in Ohio
 Group's Crocodile Dock VBS 2009  June 15-19, 2009 |
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| Erin,
Thanks for loving His kids and for being willing to serve as a safety net for them and their decisions! Know you are loved and prayed for!
matt
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