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| |  Posted 3/15/2007 6:54:58 PM | |
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Moderator
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| | I love the community and the people here so much. But I want to remind us all that Jesus clearly defined how we are to deal with conflict. I am trying to follow His example in my life every day. I ask that you pray for Cindy, Jody, Tamara and myself as we do our best to moderate these boards. I came across this study online and thought it might be good to do as a group here on the board. Please read the passage and then reflect on the questions that it poses. Post your comments if you have any! Conflict Resolution
Is Anger and Conflict Hindering Your Spiritual Growth?
Love is the supreme value in the kingdom of God. Anger and conflict block out love. There is probably no greater challenge to spiritual growth than how you handle anger and conflict.
"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over." -- Matthew 18:15
Seven steps to resolving conflict: - 1. IF THERE IS CONFLICT
- 2. YOU
- 3. GO
- 4. TO THE PERSON
- 5. IN PRIVATE
- 6. AND DISCUSS THE PROBLEM
- 7. FOR THE PURPOSE OF RECONCILIATION
Discussion of the steps:
- Acknowledge the conflict. Conflict is normal; it is a part of human nature. Lack of conflict does not equal maturity.
- You must do something about it. Why don't we face up to resolving conflict? Pride. Fear. Stubbornness.
- Go means go or approach. Go does not mean avoid or pray or think or forget. But before going, ask yourself:
- Why am I angry? There are three major reasons that we get angry:
- What do you want?
- Go directly to the person involved. NO third parties, no mediators, no friends. Conflict is inevitable. Resentment is optional. Resolution is up to you.
- Talk in private. Be sensitive. Approach the other person as you would like to be approached.
- Anger Myth: The best way to handle anger is to ventilate it.
- Reality: Ventilation only reinforces anger. It is also not appreciated by those ventilated on. It accomplishes nothing positive in either person.
- Use direct communication.
- Describe clearly what you observed. (Example: "You didn't listen to what I said.")
- Explain how it hurt you. (Example: "My opinion doesn't matter to you.")
- Tell what the consequences have been. (Example: "I'm feeling quite resentful." )
- Ask for what change you would like. Change implies more than simply an apology, although an apology is often a good place to start.
- Aim at reconciliation. The goal is to restore the relationship. The goal is not to prove who was right, not to get back at someone, not to avoid the situation, not to turn away and forget.
Bible study courtesy of www.SwapMeetDave.com I got a couple of PMs with questions so let me clarify... this is an issue I'm struggling with in "real" life with a church member and once in awhile we have these things flare up on this board between members. This is not about questioning something that you have a problem with in the curriculum (although it's not a bad model to follow). I hope this clarifies what this is about.
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| |  Posted 3/16/2007 9:11:56 AM | |
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Forum Guru
 
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| Wow Peggy, that is divinly inspired! I am printing it off & sending it on to others, as well as using it for myself!! I am so BLESSED to have found these forums!!! Thank You, Thank You....LH in Indiana
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| | | Posted 3/16/2007 1:09:18 PM | |
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Forum Expert
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| | Peggy, Thanks for posting this. It'll help me for sure with the situation I'm in. God Bless, Josh T. in Ohio
 Group's Crocodile Dock VBS 2009  Date: To Be Determined |
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