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Last Login: 11/8/2007 8:48:20 AM
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| For all you youth ministers out there, how many of you involve your young kids in your youth ministry. Do you allow them to come to your youth activities or do you try to keep them seperate from the youth ministry until they are old enough to be in it.
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this has to be one of the most delicate topics in ministry. my advice would be no. it is important for the ministry kids and your children to know each other and love each other for a variety of reasons but the ministry kids need their individual time with you.
as a student, I resented and even pestered the youth pastor's children because ministry was different when they were around. we didn't have his full attention, which we really needed. we now have a great relationship with each other but bottom line, the norm, is the ministry kids need their time with you.
Matt McCage
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I would be curious to know if either of you have children. Let me put it this way, it would be one great luxury to be child free for every youth event I plan. Let's be honest here, in order for me to have my children taken care of for every event, it would cost more than i make, which isn't much, but every little bit helps. I am a part timer with three children ages 8, 5, and 3. So while it would be so great to be able to do that, it isn't always possible. I am fortunate that i have family close by that can take care of them for me at times, but again not always possible. I am also fortunate that I have a group of students who help me take care of them when they are at an event. Let's take Wednesday night as an example, we have around 50 students on Wednesdays, over the course of 3-4 hours they rotate keeping them occupied while i hang/troubleshoot/teach/minister. Again, this is a luxury i know. Not all Youth Pastors have that luxury for sure. I am not new to the game, been in youth ministry since 1989, and i have been both full time and part time, i am part time now by choice (wife works nights, i take care of kids and house). I guess what i really want to say is this, try to think about the situation the youth pastor is in before becoming territorial about the ministry. Yes, i am sure that in Youth Ministry Utopia, there is a perfect balance, but here in real Youth Pastor Never-Never Land, sometimes the kiddos will be there, take it as a chance to minister to your youth pastor by helping with the kids.
Chris
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| THe reason I posted this question is because I do have children and I do include them in my ministry. Whenever there is an event or fellowship my wife and children are present. Once a year I take the youth group camping. I have done this for the past ten years. I take my wife and my kids with me. It gives the youth a chance to really connect on an intimate level to my wife and my kids. I am at a new church now and I am being told that this will not happen because they feel it will take away from the youths time to connect with me. I dont agree. They have me all year long at Dnows, youth camp, concerts, evangelism conferences, and amusement park trips. I have always encouraged my youth workers to include their kids also when we have fellowships.
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| well there ya go. couldn't agree more. maybe a previous bad experience is leading them to say this now. a preventative measure, so to speak.
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| As a mother of 3, our kids are at a lot of events also. But we try and arrange someone to care for them when it's an all day event or events that are out of town, etc. I do agree it is important than the students get their own time with you but at the same time they know you have a family and I think it's just as beneficial for them to see us interact with our kids. When my kids are present for any activities our youth are awesome about rotating the kids around and the parents of the students are also great about taking my kids and occupying them while we are doing stuff. When it's time for the "serious" stuff... like teaching and prayertime then my kids are usually not there for that and are elsewhere so they are not a distraction. For your church that has a current problem with that, I would talk to the whoever you directly "report" to and express your concerns and feelings.
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I am glad to see everyone's passion in ministering to their children as well as the students at the church! It is no doubt an extreme struggle to know what to do in this situation.
While we all want to be great parents (yes I am a father of a 4 yr and 2yr old) we also want to be great pastors. There are many days the line of parenthood and pastor are blurred and life gets a little challenging. I am pretty sure every leader and pastor have been there and currently are in that destination.
Keep serving Him and loving His kids...however you decide to do it. Keep and ear to the ground and an eye above and He will let you know how to keep it balanced. I completely agree with the advice of having a conversation with whomoever you answer to about your concerns of not having your family around for anything. For the rest of us this is a great topic to address as we look at new ministry settings.
Matt
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| I read this post when it was first posted and it really hit home. I have thought of it often and how I would respond. I have a 3 year old, 5 year old and 7 year old. My husband works days. I am a full time Youth Director with a very limited volunteer base. I have tried it both ways. The youth at first were nice and nurturing/helpful with the kids. Now they appear to resent them. That may be because my intern "hates kids" - the youth like him so they tend to follow his lead. I made the mistake of taking my kids with the youth to a week-long youth conference. My attention was so scattered that the trip was a near disaster. Most bring a spouse to watch the kids if they need to attend. I like my spouse to be there when he is able to help me, not watch our kids! Many times my spouse is not able to watch the kids so I have to find other options. There is no way I can bring them and be a youth leader at the same time. My patience runs too short and I am easily overwhelmed. When this happens I feel this is God telling me I am in the wrong job. I don't know the answer though! I do know that being a parent (of any aged kids) helps tremendously in being a youth leader. But doing both is so very hard. God bless you in your decision on this...I feel blessed to have "kids" that are teens and toddlers - but even more blessed when I keep the two separate  Theresa in Florida
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What good have we done if we save the world and loose our own children? A lesson learned for me through life experience. It is so easy to get so busy with ministry to others that we neglect our first ministry which is to our family. I say take your kids-give them every opportunity to experience God while they still want too.
God Bless! Angie
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| Do any of you take your kids to work during office hours. My wife and I just had our first and I am taking her with me for daytime office hours. My council is not so keen on the idea.
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