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| | | Forum Newbie
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Last Login: 4/8/2008 2:46:53 PM
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| OK, here is the situation:
Our church's youth ministry currently serves about 90 kids. There are a few graduates that continue to come to youth services instead of being part of the college ministry. To be sure the college ministry is small, and lacks a band, etc (it is more like a small group).
The Youth pastor says he uses these students in leadership. I can see the need for that in some instances, but I can also see that if grads are in leadership in the youth ministry, when do the youth lead?
Why would college students still what to hang with HS students?
Several of our MS parents are very concerned about grads being in the services.
So, my question. What do those of you in Youth ministry thing about grads, hanging out in the youth service with MS/HS students?
 Thanks,
G. Alan Cassady
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| | With the exception of some rare cases (such as with a moderate to severe special needs student) I would say that once they finish high school they should move on. In many cases the newly graduated will stay involved to hold on to what is comfortable, and even if they try to act as a leader they will still fall into their old roles in the youth groups social structure. If the college age person really does just have a desire to do youth ministry, then consider letting them work just with the Jr. High or behind the scenes. Perhaps when they reach 21 or so then you could let them back in as an adult volunteer and fully functioning as an adult volunteer and not just an older youth. That's just my opinion. |
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| | I have a 23 year old college student who is my right hand person in our Youth Ministry. I couldn't do it without him! Ok, I could, but... We do NOT have a young adult or college ministry. If we did, I would require him to attend that in order to be able to help the youth (God tells us to be around like people - in this instance that would be college aged!!!). Just a thought. Theresa p.s. 90 kids!!! WOW!!! What denomination? |
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| | We had this issue with a few of our college students in the past. We have 100+ on role with about 75 active. We had one students that continued to come around. We finally had to sit her down and tell her that she is not allowed at youth services. We have strategically created a college ministry that fits into our goal of creating spiritually mature Christians. Only once have we actually brought one student on as a leader. She has turned out to be great. I am a firm believer that once they graduate, they should move on into the next stage of their life. If we allow them to stay in youth ministry, we are giving them permission to mature both spiritually and emotionally. |
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| I agree totally. At a previous church I attended, the youth pastor allowed older (graduates) to remain in youth and didn't devide the junior high/high school. With that large of a age gap you are asking for trouble! Lets face it, not everyone is at church for the right reasons. Unfortunately as a result, a very young girl in the youth group got pregnant by a much older guy. They should have never been put together to begin with in my oppinion.
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| we have adopted this policy you are either a youth or you are in leadership at youth
If we discover a desire within us that nothing in this world can satisfy, also we should begin to wonder if perhaps we were created for another world.
C. S. Lewis, |
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| | I am dealing with a similar situation...I am Youth Minister over a Youth Group of about 20-25 kids and we have a boy who is in his mid 20s, who is mentally handicapped. ...he shows up at Youth Events and can be a disrupting force...I have only been at this church 7 months so I inherited this situation...complicating matters is that his grandfather is an elder in the church....his family is most likely moving at the end of the school year and my deacons believe the best solution is to ride it out until he leaves.....my problem with that is that we have a retreat (the first one this group has ever had) coming up and he is expecting to be able to go on it....I really think he would disrupt others' weekend and attempts at spiritual growth taking place. Any advice? |
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Last Login: 7/2/2008 8:26:28 PM
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| G. A. C.,
There is no doubt you are in a difficult dilemma. Let me tell you about my failure in handling this situation correctly.
Sam scenario, college students loved the ministry and didn't want to leave. I made the decision at such and such date, they would have to move on to big church. Lovingly informed them of said decision. Gave them an out by telling them if they had a ministry position within the youth ministry they could stay in the student service. Even created a college ministry with monthly events and ministry opportunities. Secured a Sunday School teacher for them and everything. And with the announcement...the poo hit the fan!
Kids felt abandoned and no longer loved. Parents began to ring the pastor's phone off the hook saying I had asked their child ( a college student) to no longer come back to church. Needless to say, I was in the office defending my position. I was instructed to apologize to the families and allow the college students to stay around until they were ready to leave. This was a large church setting with 60 active HS students plus JH and College.
My decision failed because I did not have the pastoral support to make it work. Was it the right choice? yes. Was it for the health of the ministry? yes. Did I have the necessary backing? No. I failed to do the necessary grunt work in establishing my position to the person that mattered the most to the church...the senior pastor.
It is true that adolescence is being defined up to the age of 25 and that is because society is not forcing people to grow up and that is a scary thought. Yet, it is essential for you to get the backing necessary to make the call. Plus, if you have deacons telling you to ride it out you might have your answer.
My advice to you would be tread softly and lovingly. Begin the blueprints for what the ministry would look like with the new changes. Don't bring a have-planned scheme to the leadership. Pray, pray, pray. Get the feel from your core adults and begin to drop the bug in the pastor's ear or whomever it is you answer to. That way you will have all the backing you need to maintain a healthy student ministry.
matt mccage
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