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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 1/27/2009 9:22:32 PM
Posts: 1,
Visits: 9
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I would love some advice for my problem, so thank you in advance!
I am a recent seminary graduate and I took my first call to a 1000 member church (with only 300 in worship on a good Sunday) as the director of youth and adult ministries about 8 months ago. This a denomination where head pastors are appointed, the new one came 3 weeks after I started. This pastor is completely unorganized, has no vision, and is not very supportive when it comes to change. He is a very nice man, but is overly pastoral; therefore he has no boundaries with time and not one meeting has started on time since June. I have come to him with things like the idea of getting a church credit card so myself and my volunteers don't have to pay for things and then wait for reimbursement, him filling out forms on time, and bringing forth new and creative ways to build connection within the church...each time getting shut down. I was even interrupted in the middle of a staff meeting where I was discussing the issue on hand because we needed to "move on" even though he had come in 30 minutes late and had given a 30 minute impromptu devotional (this happens quite a bit).
Not only do I not feel supported, I also feel that I have too much on my plate. I am the only staff member in charge of basically 12 years of age until pretty much death. I was told when I was hired that it would be 70% youth and 30% adult; however when I do only 30% adult, inevitably something slips through the cracks and I have even gotten griped out by a few congregation members. I am working anywhere from 60-70 hours a week, but if I don't things do not get done that need to get done.
I have been told the church is not in the financial place to hire another secretary let alone another program director, so that option is not going to work.
I absolutely ADORE my youth and youth volunteers and if I was only doing YM, then I would love it. However, that is not the case. I have no life because of the amount of work and long hours, I am very unhappy with the lack of support, and it is pretty evident this church is dying in many ways. It is not the church that was presented to me at all, with the exception of the youth program.
I don't know what to do! Should I start looking for a new place where God may be leading me or stick it out and be miserable in many ways? 8 months seems so very short and I don't want to abandon my kids, but also thinking about being this miserable for years sounds horrible! Any advice?
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Forum Expert
Group: Moderators
Last Login: 2 days ago @ 8:18:26 PM
Posts: 81,
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jay,
let me first thank you for being willing to minister to His people with such passion and with a servants heart. Undoubtedly, you are in a very tough situation which sounds all too familiar as they have come across my computer screen continuously. Not only that, but I had to determine to leave my ministry setting of 9 years. Let me offer you some observations.
You mentioned the pastor is appointed by the denomination or a branch there of. Is there a certain rotation time set in place? If it is every couple of years is it possible to hold on? Are you able to conduct youth ministry at all and if so what percentage is that?
What is your personal relationship with the pastor? Are the staffing issues you're having impacting your personal view of him? If so, they need to be addressed. If they cannot be remedied, you need to leave with grace. I would love to talk with you more about it. Please feel free to send me a personal message if that's okay.
Matt
Forum Moderator
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Forum Expert
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 11/9/2009 11:16:23 AM
Posts: 78,
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I know it would be risky but have you shared your heart with your pastor?
Of course if you do you may not need to make the choice to leave it may be made for you. OR you may truly help your pastor in the long run.
I'm sorry you are in such a difficult situation. Do you have family and what toll is this taking on them? Is there a way to build an adult ministry team as you have for the youth ministry? This may help alleviate some of the overworked issues.
Ultimately I believe prayer and the Holy Spirit will help you to decide when it is time to go. If it's not time to go than you have to trust in God's plan of keeping you there for whatever reason that may be.
Keep us informed.
Andy
Reaching Students to Discover Life in Christ
www.theaddyouthpastor.com
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Forum Guru
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 11/18/2009 7:13:05 PM
Posts: 68,
Visits: 218
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| This is a bummer. It sounds like the pastor may just be putting in his time until retirement. It happens. I liked the suggestion of getting more volunteers for the adults to take the load off you. Maybe do what you can do without asking. In any case you need to set your boundaries on the hours. Prayerfully consider what those boundaries will be. Let the consistory (elder and deacons) know your plans. Tell them what you will do in writing. If they are not satisfied they might show you the door. That's a clear sign. We do get attached to our kids and they to us. That is the sad part that makes me (and the kids) disappointed with church as an organization. I will pray for you right now.
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