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Forum Guru
 
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 3/16/2010 10:07:35 AM
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| I would like to know if anyone has any ideas. I lead a Wednesday night kids club and Sunday morning children's church. We have many new families to out church. One of them is a single mom with two boys that are in 4th and 5th grade. The 4th grader has been diagnosed with ADHD. I can usually keep him under control in class by having him help me with different things. We also use a point system with a store they can buy things with. If they don't behave they can lose points. If there is a problem and I bring that up he will calm down. Tonight was a very different story. It did not seem to matter what I or the helper did. He was very disrespectful to everyone in the room and was cussing right and left. He wouldn't even listen to our youth leader who is a big guy. I spoke with his mom afterwards and we are taking him out for a week and then trying it again. I told her that I would not give up on him. She pretty much blew it off like it was nothing and said they are trying to figure out his meds. I know she is frustrated due to issues at school too, but I don't want to give up on this kid. The behavior tonight was rubbing off on one of our younger kids and really concerned me. Does anyone have any ideas?
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Forum Expert
Group: Moderators
Last Login: Yesterday @ 12:37:02 PM
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If the doctors are changing his med's as the mother mentioned, it is very likely that his unusually inappropriate behavior was a result of medications. The mother's dismissal of the behavior is unfortunate. If the behavior goes unaddressed, the child is missing out on a learning moment.
As a parent of a child with ADHD, we never allowed medication issues to excuse inappropriate behavior. There were always consequences. Apologies to those the child offended or writing a paragraph about "How I should have behaved" were proactive consequences that we used often with our child.
When our child was smaller, we used age- appropriate "time out" and allowed our child to re-enter the group or class after discussing appropriate behavior and making it very clear what we expected. So, if you do require that the child sit out for a week, I'd be sure you had a conversation with the child and the parent before the child re-enters the classroom.
If the child returns next week, consider talking to the child about the behavior and suggest making apologies and asking for forgiveness from those he offended. It's Biblical and it holds the child accountable for his/her own behavior in a proactive way. Nothing feels quite like the grace of being forgiven!
Lisa B from NC
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