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| I have a pretty laid back class of about a dozen kids. They are all great! I have one, however, that is very loud and boistorous and tends to need to be the center of attention--ALL the time. We have free time where the kids can cut up and have fun but then we have time where we need to be quiet and listen. He is 15 and he wears my patience quite thin. Then when I do get on him about his actions, he takes offense to it. Now, another note is he is my nephew (my brother's son) so he tends to show me no respect and when I try to say hey, we need to be quiet now bc you are getting to loud, he blows me off. Then when I tell him that if he continues, then I am the one that is going to get in trouble bc they are being too loud. He says "I don't see a problem in that."
I am at my breaking point and I feel the other kids are now getting tired of his obnoxious, loud behavior. How should I go about handling this?
 ~Misty from Indiana
Non-conformist!! Romans 12:2  Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth!
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Misty,
It might be time to speak with his parent about the situation. It always compliments things when it's family or a close and personal relationship, however it definitely needs to be addressed. Prayerfully approach your brother and establish you are addressing this from "the pastor's hat" point of view. Hopefully he will understand where you're coming from and give you the necessary support to accomplish the goal.
If that doesn't work, kick the boy out of the ministry and hang out with other families on the holidays!  that was a joke, please don't take that part seriously!!!! Wait till you have the pastor's kids and then you'll be reaching for real prozac! Let us know how it goes...
Matt
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| What about enlisting some help from another adult. Someone to be his "buddy" if he needs to be removed for the sake of the other his buddy can do this. Family dynamics grrrrr - glad my niece is not in my class =)
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| Actually, I do have the Pastor's kid in my class and I have my own kid in the class! I have approached the parents time and time again but still they always say "yea we know he can be loud." And then it becomes a joke. I am getting nowhere and it is getting frustrating.
I am going to have to start making a discipinary chart to let them know that if they reach a certain point, they will have to go to the sanctuary and sit with their parents. I hate that it has to come to that, but I can't have him, or anyone else, being so disruptive and disrespectful. *sigh*
~Misty from Indiana Non-conformist!! Romans 12:2 Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth!
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| I have a simular problem with a child in my class who is a preteen soon. he is in 5th grade . He interups allot. I pray for my class each by name. I pray for the right words to say . when we are talking about touch the heart stuff which is most of the time he finds ways of saying things that are not the right thing to say. does things too. Well this sunday we had a lesson on Faith and he was really acting up. After I talked to him and told him everytime he acts in that way he lets Saten into our classroom. That a child who needs to hear about what we are learning is unable to . I too have talked emailed the parents and nothing happens. I ask there help when were to talk about Sin because he acts up even more then and says he doesn't sin. I pray for patience and that my Words do not come Void. I also try to add something to make them all think. He also always says I don't know about that I am Home schooled. I know home schooler and he knows a different way to look at everything. He has neighbors and friends . so I will pray I know How it feels. God bless Doreen
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Set him aside and set down the rules.
For example:
1. If he is disruptive you will ask him to stop.
2. If you have to ask him to stop 3 times in one day he will have to sit out for the rest of the time.
3. If he has to sit out 3 times in a 1 month time period he will be denied from being able to go for 3 weeks... whatever you choose
Make sure that he understands the rules and consequences, and why they are in place. Then make sure his parents understand as well so that if he is kicked out for a time, they know why and when he is allowed back in.
Once that is set, you have to stick to your guns. If you don't hold him to the rules, he will walk all over the rules and you.
Masterpiece in Progress - Building masterpieces one person at a time.
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| More than on person has talked to the parents. One time when we talked to them they pulled him from the class. He went and told the kids that he got Kick out of the class which was not true. Then he started to come back agian after a couple of weeks. I emailed the parents to let them know we were talking about sin. He acts up when the things are touch the heart more to him. Durring out lesson the kids were to write a sin that they had done on the cross. He wrote ( I don't know any at this time) or something like that . Everyones eyes were closed and it was on a dry write sheet so I took it off and said you have to write a sin. Then he did it . he wrote saying bad words . He is like I said a fifth graders. He will also say well do I have to participate. I tell him your in the class you have to participate. meaning doing the activities. I don't make kids read if they don't feel comfortable. If they want to answer a question or share I ask that they rasie their hands . He likes to interupt and say things that should not be said. He also like to not write stuff down but share . when its a project I have him write it down so I can guide it more. Other wise it might not be the right thing to be shared. This has help and I sit with his group as they do the project most the time I hop from group to group as well. I have one other helper in the classroom. I set up on friday and pray for each fo the students. I set a board with their names on it so they know where to sit in the room. On the wall I have their names as a prayer wall . I give stickers sometimes with a praise on it . That way I get to talk to each one and say hello. I have special things they are to talk about that goes with the lesson. It makes the conversations interesting. sometimes they don't quite know what it about. Then they say oh that why you had us talk about that . I have to think real hard on what might happen with this group as I prepare the lesson. What might happen when we do this. Some of the Faithweaver lessons for 5th and 6th graders I have to leave out not just for time but because it too much to gain the back to being calm. Lot of prayer and patience I pray for weekly Hope this helps someone else or someone has another idea too God bless Doreen I want to do it nice to let him know how to live for the Lord
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Jesus_is_my_prozac (4/21/2009)
Actually, I do have the Pastor's kid in my class and I have my own kid in the class! I have approached the parents time and time again but still they always say "yea we know he can be loud." And then it becomes a joke. I am getting nowhere and it is getting frustrating.
I am going to have to start making a discipinary chart to let them know that if they reach a certain point, they will have to go to the sanctuary and sit with their parents. I hate that it has to come to that, but I can't have him, or anyone else, being so disruptive and disrespectful. *sigh* If he's so disruptive that it stops other youth from learning then it may be time to do what I did to our disruptive youth. I kicked him out one day and asked him to stand outside until the service was over. After the service I had a long talk with him about his attitude and his disruptive behavior. He has since changed. If your own family doesn't respect you enough to change their child's behavior then you may need to step up and stop it now. All my parents know that discipline will be done in our youth group.
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I also have had my neices, nephews, pks and my own child in my class as well. Pastor's kids (pks) are a piece of cake compared to their grandkids. Then there are pks and ps to answer to.  So, through this I have found that if you gain the parent's trust, then you have the kids trust. Let the parents know exactly what is going on, without the tattle-tell voice, and let them know what you are going to do about it. 15 is pretty old, are they all around the same age? There are so many things that can be creating this behavior. Is it internal, environmental, hormonal or just plain rebelious? There are differant ways to handle each of them. For sure though, it is your responcibility to ensure the safety of all your youth and if he can't behave, then you will HAVE to step up. Reguardless of whether you want to or not. You don't have to be mean, just teach him how to have self-control. Teach on the fruits of the Spirit. He might be convicted by it. Just don't make him feel condemed. Be sure he knows that you love him, but you are not going to let him have special treatment. I have learned to sandwhich lessons for some people. That means to have the uplifting and encouraging "you can do it" stuff at the begining and end of a lesson and put the deep heart-felt meat in the middle. All children crave order. That doesn't have to be boring though. He just has to know what exactly is not allowed and what the consequeses are for that. I agree with the person who had the 3 step process. 3 strikes, your out. Also, I have found that leaving disruptive kids in the hall by themselves is not a good thing! They are more disruptive my themselves and usually they run around trying to get even more attention. I have the parents come to get them and bring them upstairs with them so that the parents have the walk-of-shame back to their seats knowing that their child has just gotten in trouble. I know that sounds harsh, but it takes a awhile to get removed and the parents could have helped out way before it should get to that. It only takes one time and then the whole class seems to be more respectful. They learn that being together where someone takes care of them is a privledge. Maybe bring some candy to reward the other studants for behaving. Preteens LOVE snacks! Our preteen teacher uses juice pouches. You'd be suprised on how well that worked. I once taught a whole class of kids from 5-9 a bible story just by handing out 1 fruit snack to each question answered correctly! They were like vultures! I've read in several children's ministry books that the best way to discipline is to plan well. Are you teaching each learning style? Maybe he is more experiantial. He might feel the lesson more if he experianced it. I'm sorry this is so long. I just know how that feels and I want to tell you what I've learned. Remember, weeping only lasts for a night, but joy comes in the morning. It won't always be this way! God Bless. Hope I helped.
Sarah
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| I have a standing rule of Not giving candy in any class I teach. I have parents ask me not to in the pass so now I don't do it any longer. Once in awhile we have fun things I give out but its pencils etc. I don't give things for behavior because they then expect it all the time. There is no budget line for stuff like that so it comes out of the pocket. With this one boy it does not matter what you do in the classroom he will find a way of disrupting . He does not like to be taken in the hall by my assitant . So sometimes that works for a short period of time. thanks for ideas God bless Doreen
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