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| Hello, I could surely use some help with discipline problems with the children at our church. Our Wednesday night program consist of supper, two children's choir practice for tqo age groups, and a bible activities groups for two age groups. We have several children that are members and a few that come to our Wednesday nights from the after school program. The children that attend from the after school program and a few member children do not have parents attend on Wednesday night and those that do have parents that are really not that concerned about their child's behavior. During supper time the kids get up and run and play loudly in the room that supper is being served bothering others in the room, they will not behave in the choir practice and they will not behave in the bible activities class. We have tried talking to the children about their behavior and to some parents but it has not done any good. I am at my wits end. It is getting where I dread Wednesday nights when I should be loving it. These children are not mean they are just rowdy and uncontrolable not much respect. HELP!!
Shalom
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Could you use a reward system. We used tickets that were DWJWD (Doing What Jesus Would DO). The kids would receive a ticket for anytime a teacher or helper would see them doing what Jesus would do, (like behaving, listening, helping others etc.) they would also get them for answering questions or anything else we wanted to encourage. We had them put the in a drawing each month for a big prize so the more tickets you got the more you had a chance to win. You could also have them turn them into to a store where they could get prizes, like the things you would get from oriental trading company and such, kids love this because if they want a bigger prize they had to save up their tickets. I have a copy of our tickets if you want to see them to just send me an email and I would send them over to you.
This helps to encourage good behavior well not always having to single out the bad behavior, and it seemed to work for us. We did have some trouble still but not as much so easier to handle and it helped to encourage the good stuff without always having to single out the bad things. Hope this makes sense if not I will try to clarify.Good luck, Melissa - NY
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| Hi Melissa, I see you get up early too. I am so ready for a new day. Thanks for repling to my question about discipline. Your answer sound like the answer to our prayers. Please email me a copy of your tickets to tahig@aol.com Godspeed. Tammy
Shalom
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I'm not keen on token reinforcement (bribes and prizes, etc) , but I AM keen on positive reinforcement!
You might want to try the very positive idea above minus the prizes. Seeking out positive behaviors and verbally rewarding children when you catch them following directions or being kind to others is just as effective.
A smile or word of encouragement cost NOTHING but has eternal value.
I also trust you have clearly defined your rules and expectations. It ALWAYS helps to gather the children and review rules. End the discussion by asking the children for their cooperation so that everyone can enjoy your time together. Intentionally involving the children in this way, gives them a sense of ownership and personal responsibility.
Also, I suggest you use an attention getter like a train whistle, bell or noise maker to signal the children when you need their silence and focused attention.
To train children to respond to an attention getter during that rules sharing session, simply practice it with them. Tell them that every time you blow the whistle, ring the bell, or noise maker, etc. they are to stop what they are doing, get very quiet and look at you. Then practice that. Tell them to start talking and use the attention getter to see if get it. If they do, then praise them for their cooperation. If not, review your expectations with them and try it again. (I've NEVER had to practice this more than once because kids respond so positively to attention getters.)
And as prizes go, consider making prizes something you give them as a surprise, for no other reason than love.... kinda like God graces and gifts us.
Lisa B from NC
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| One the only time i give a special prize is One from my birthday bag. Two no candy I get pencils or small toys or objects that following with a song we performed. I have the three strike rule first strike is a warning i hold my hand up with a one and look at the child . They know that they have just been given grace. Second strike is you have to sit out for one song. They don't like that one . Strike three is you depending on time have to sit next to the adult who is helping . Or if its early enough you are taken to your parent. Either way I talk to the parent to let them know what is up. If you get a strike three one week and then do it the next week you are ask not to come to practice for one week . Then they may return. In all my years of teaching choir I have done this may be once. we do allot of talks about worship and teaching other about the Lord. Hope this helps you out God bless Doreen
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