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Forum Newbie
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Last Login: 5/24/2009 2:35:06 PM
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I volunteered to help teach and be a small group leader several months ago in our Jr. High youth, but now I'm not so sure. I've been working with 7th-grade boys, and it's been very difficult. The boys are good kids for the most part, but I have a hard time getting to know them. I'm pretty introverted, and while I enjoy teaching, I have to really work at meeting and talking to others. And of course, 7th and 8th-graders aren't really eager to open up to adults they don't know and trust.
The situation has been further complicated by the fact that since I joined the youth group in November, Jr. High services have been very inconsistent, and we really haven't had any small group time in 2 months.
I talked with our youth pastor, and all he said was that it takes a good year before the students will begin to trust me and open up to me. In the meantime, however, I'm being asked to be an active leader to a bunch of boys I don't know and who don't know or trust me.
I'm very frustrated and am torn about whether to continue working. Although I feel called to work in the youth, I don't know if I am the right fit for the role.
Any insight or suggestions are greatly appreciated!
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Forum Guru
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Last Login: Today @ 2:29:32 PM
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What kinds of things do you do in your small group?
Is it within the youth group time, or at your home on a separate day?
Does your YP have a specific agenda for you to follow, or are you able to do your own thing?
What are they interested in?
How much time do you have?
Is it a group activity, discussion time, or free roaming?
Just some things to think about to help you answer your question.
Masterpiece in Progress - Building masterpieces one person at a time.
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Forum Newbie
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Last Login: 7/30/2009 3:59:17 PM
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7th grade boys require a lot of patience. I compare it to deep sea fishing. You spend alot of time throwing chum in the water, with the hook in there and not alot of response. I tend to look at relationships with kids that age in terms of how many words can i get out of them in a conversation. I keep mental note of those i have 5 word conversations with at the beginning of the year, more towards the end of the year it gets, the more i see those conversations approaching 10 words. Much of their ambivalence is them dealing with their own awkwardness. I try to take mental journeys back to when I was that grade/age. I try to remember what i would and would not do and what did I think about, and try to engage kids at that level. Try to create unstructured times that you guys are all just chillling... take them to Sonic or McDonalds, etc buy the group cokes and see what happens.
Have faith in the fact that they are noticing you and what you are doing. Does your YP have opportunity to watch what you are doing? If he does and that is his message to you, then you/re on the right track.
Denver Seminary Youth Ministry Student, Social Worker, Middle School Youth Worker
http://web.me.com/matthew.murphy79/Engaging_the_Shadows/Engaging_the_Shadow.html
moderator @ pastor2youth.com
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Forum Newbie
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Last Login: 6/26/2009 7:29:50 AM
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I would like to offer my humble opinion on this subject. I've worked with Middle Schoolers (same age as Junior High) for a while, and one thing I've learned about Middle School age boys is that......... They're Middle School age boys!  No, seriously, at this age, boys are generally unsure of themselves, much less anyone else. The main reason most of them come to youth group is to feel like they're accepted in a group. Well, that, and the girls that also come to youth group, lol. This is all ok. Our job as volunteers/workers, is to teach them, to put our message out there, and let the Holy Spirit work. Have fun! Kids as this age are FRUSTRATING, I know, but they are also some of the greatest kids on Earth! Be yourself- kids are very perceptive, and if you relax around them, and just be yourself, they will slowly but surely start to see that you have a heart to serve them, and things will change. I'm not saying that things will always be wonderful and rose-colored, but things will get better. Hang in there! I'll be praying for you!
I hope that something I've said has helped. May God bless you!
There's nothing more rewarding or frustrating than working in Youth Ministry!
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Forum Newbie
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Last Login: Yesterday @ 7:36:04 AM
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1. It does take time to build a relationship.
2. Be yourself, a Christian adult. Being introverted/extroverted doesn't matter.
3. Teens will respect you if you respect them (respect= listen to them & love them for who they are- made in God's image)
If you are unwilling to do any of these, then don't be a leader.
Youth Ministry is a bag of ups & downs. However, these people need someone to teach them & show them what it means to be a follower of Jesus. Are you willing to do this?
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Love God
Love People
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Forum Newbie
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Last Login: Yesterday @ 7:36:04 AM
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Goalieman54 (5/30/2009)
7th grade boys require a lot of patience.
True dat.
----
Love God
Love People
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Junior Member
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Last Login: 8/11/2009 2:00:14 PM
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| Hi, I am a youth leader and have been doing it for about 4 years. I have a mix of jr high and high school (small church). My suggestion is to check out some websites for openers(icebreakers) and fun object lessons to get them engaged in learning and fellowship. Above all PRAY and don't give up. Too often teens and tweens are given up on because they take us out of our adult comfort zone. Remember how it was when we were that age? Just think back and remember that even if they don't remember everything you teach, They will walk away with something! I had a teen boy tell me that himself. He said " I know I don't always seem to be listening, but I am and I do think about what we talk about when I'm at home" So don't give up!! Good Luck and I hope you find some interesting and fun ways of connecting with the kids. Check out Some of my favorite sites are: www.thesource4ym.com and www.creativeyouthideas.com ( The memory flip lesson I did recently and the kids loved it!) I have used many of these lessons with great success! God Bless!
[b]CRAZY For VBS!
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Forum Guru
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You guys are awesome. I'm so pleased by your responses to sleddog. You can't always see the impact you're having but it's wonderful and crucial. Keep up the great work.
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