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Forum Expert
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Last Login: 7/30/2009 2:43:00 PM
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Our youth group is suppose to be ages 13-17 (will allow 18 if they are still in school). However, we have a couple youth that have turned 18 and have shown no interest in leaving youth group. We are small and I do not push youth out just bc they turn 18. However, I can't imagine them staying in there for the next several years or longer. They are quite attached to the youth group and me. So, my question is....how do you offer a transition without offending them or hurting any feelings? Or should I just wait to see if they step out on their own?
 ~Misty from Indiana
Non-conformist!! Romans 12:2  Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth!
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Forum Newbie
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Last Login: 8/16/2009 8:20:31 PM
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This is a tough situation because you want to continue to love and minister to these older kids but still maintain a sense that youth group is for, well, youth!
Here are some thoughts:
1) Provide the students ways to get connected elsewhere in the church. Go with them at first, but help them develop relationships with other adults in the congregation. Do they like to do music? Plug them into the praise band. Be creative.
Set up something so that ALL of your students are getting integrated into the rest of the church body. This will take a lot of work, but it's well worth it.
2) Hand them off to the college/young adult ministry. Again, go with them at first. This isn't about dumping them off on someone else, but through your relationship with them, leading them to a ministry more fit for their age group.
3) Don't have a college ministry? Start a ministry with those older kids. It could just be a Bible study at Starbucks or something.
4) If it were me, I would not allow these kids to continue attending youth group at their age unless they were leaders. Even so, I would require a one year period where they would not be allowed to attend. This is more for their sake, to help them grow up.
Hope these suggestions help. I'd love to hear some feedback, because I haven't dealt with this particular issue myself, except in a Young Life club, where, since we were focused on outreach, allowed older kids to attend. But a youth group is a different situation, I think.
Nick Arnold
Youth Pastor and Fuller Seminary Student
Ministry Allies - Empowering youth ministries to team up to change their communities
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| Does your church have a young singles program? Sometimes this is a great way to transition kids from youth to the adult services. It is so hard to know where to draw the line, you don't want to push them away but you also can't have a ton of the older teens young adults either. If you don't have a young singles group I would let them stay on for a while and try to get them ready for the adult service by maybe giving them some respnsibility in the youth group themselves (of couse depending on them and their maturity level). This is a really tough situation and I pray you find the right compromise for them and for you and the youth group. Melissa - NY
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Junior Member
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Last Login: 11/17/2009 12:20:03 PM
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| This is a tough situation and this is what I believe....I have had teens ask me, "because I just graduated, does that mean I can't come to youth anymore?" I do believe that we can encourage them to go on into the next class, but I also believe that if they are not ready then we can move them into a leadership position and keep them in youth. I have spoke to my Pastor about this and he agrees. I have prayed about it and believe that when it is time for them to make the transition to the stage that God will let them know. Until then ....how do we know that they have not been called to work in the area of youth, perhaps take over my position at some point? haha I have had some move right out and into the next class but I have also had those that are very afraid to step up into the "adult" class because they are not quiet ready. My class currently has 2 21 year olds, they work as leaders. I guess this is something that you need to pray about and find your direction in what to do from God. I think each case is individual to the person ....you know your kids better than anyone ....besides their parent ! Good Luck
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Forum Newbie
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Last Login: 11/15/2009 3:30:02 PM
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Our high school graduates stay through the summer since they often participate in our events (camps, retreats, mission trips, etc) but after that, they're done.
We require raduates to take a minimum 6 months away from our ministry (technically until January of the following year) and if they want to "lead", they only may do so with middle school students.
BUT, if they ditched church during that time, if they were uninvolved in areas open to them, if their lifestyle was not marked by Jesus, they would not be allowed to "lead".
I would recommend a minimum 6 months away. I've had issues arise in the past before I had this policy with kids never "graduating" and when they tried to lead, they were seen as peers rather than leaders. Bad news.
"oh the toil a lie can bring
that quitters never know
but lies can be the perfect things
if they never show
the crisis posed a question
just beneath the skin
the virtue in my veins reply
that quitters never win "
-Pedro the Lion, "Never Leave a Job Half Done"
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