Since June, I have been a paid part-time youth minister in a small Methodist church. I have 5 or 6 regular youth, and one or two who come occasionally. A handful who have come once and not been back. My husband helps me with pretty much everything youth-related, and in fact, being five years older than I am, he has much more knowledge and experience than I do. Basically, I have gotten really discouraged over the past couple of months, and I don't know if it's legitimate. I've begun to question whether this was ever my calling to begin with. I've considered quitting, although I would probably stay until someone else had been found. By the way, I'm the first youth minister this church has ever had. In the past, it had always been volunteer-run, and there was never any real consistency, from what I've gathered.

This church is in another city than our home, about 20 minutes away. But my husband and I had talked almost since we first got married about possibly doing youth ministry together. So we heard that there was a church that needed a youth minister and right away decided to get more information. Now, at the time, he had begun leaning less towards youth ministry and more toward college ministry. (He is 28.) And so, almost before I knew it, I was meeting with the pastor and the board of what's-it-called, thinking, "Sure, I don't have any training or experience besides showing up every Sunday night and hanging out with students, but how hard can it be? And anyway, my husband can help me out when I need it, even though he'll be spending more time with college students."

So, obviously, in the last five months I've figured out (newsflash!) that there is a LOT more involved than showing up, thinking of some game, and hanging out with students. My husband has seen me struggling (and crying) and so he's decided once more to go full-speed-ahead youth ministry. So much so that we're looking at an apartment a few blocks from the church and thinking about quitting our jobs here to become substitute teachers for the school district to see the youth (and their friends!) more often.

And sometimes I think that's the best thing to do. But then sometimes I just want to go back to how things were before I was a youth pastor. It was a lot easier, and you knew that if you messed up, nobody's soul was hanging in the balance. It's almost to the point where I'm just ready to throw up my hands and let my husband run everything, even though he works overnight 4 nights a week, including Saturday and Sunday, and he's trying to finish his degree. But I don't want to walk out on the youth. But then, sometimes I think I'm doing more harm than good. And I don't want to walk out on my other job. And I don't know if I would like living in Willis and substituting. But our lease here ends Dec. 15th, so we have to decide very soon.

Anyway, the original reason I decided to find a forum like this is that it feels like it's just my husband and myself on an island trying to do youth ministry. I'm hoping for maybe a sense of community and fellowship, a group that can support me and encourage me to keep going, even though I sometimes (such as right now, as I type this) don't want to.

You are right....there is ALOT more involved in doing youth ministry than just showing up for the meetings. I am going to tell you some of my experience.....I used to think the same way you do...Am I really doing these kids any good?,  Is it all worth it? Are they getting anything out of my messages?, etc. I wanted to quit so many times, but I would keep plugging through !

Finally, the Lord opened my eyes one day to the fact that youth ministry is not about me...it's about Him and those teenagers. It is our job as youth leaders to teach and train these kids, sometimes they act like they are not hearing a thing and it appears I am wasting my time. But I have the assurance that the work that I am doing is not in vain. The Lord will speak to their hearts and if not now then someday they will remember the word that has been taught to them.There are so many ups and downs that come with this job, from the youth, to the parents, to the Pastor, and other leaders of the church. The road is not easy but just to think that MAYBE, just MAYBE a soul will be saved from Hell through something that I have said or something I have done makes it all worth while.

There are so many teenagers out there that just want someone to love them for who they are. Alot of them don't get it at home. For them to be able to come somewhere and to someone that will show them a little love may mean more to one young person then you could ever imagine. Isn't a young life worth that?  To know that some how I may have played a small ( a very small) part in their life is all the reward I will ever need. Teenagers are faced with so much temptation these days and they need someone they can depend on to be there for them when they need someone other than a parent. You are still very close to their age so you have a much better chance of being able to connect with them than I can at 47 years old. Just be yourself....love them....teach them what you can ....let the Lord guide you.....don't feel incompetent....the Lord would not have placed you in that position if He was not going to make you capable.

When I first started teaching 7 years ago, I thought I cannot do this....I don't even know the Bible well enough to teach. But through the years and alot of learning myself I have found that it is not how good of a teacher that you are but how much of your time you are willing to give them ( I work full time, but just a text here and there or a special note on facebook, doesn't have to be actual hours spent with them) and how much love you will show them. Don't get me wrong, I teach every Wed night, God has taught me alot, and the word needs to be given, but just for them to know that someone cares with the love of Christ, I think ,means the world to some.

I hope that I can encourage you in what God has called you to. He will not call you that He won't equip you for the calling. You ARE doing these kids good, don't let the devil beat you down and tell you that you are not! Hang in there, I will pray that God will direct your path. Follow Him and He will lead !

God Bless you and Thank you for being a part of these young lives!